INTRODUCTION

In this day and age, the overwhelmed college student is an unfortunately widespread phenomenon. If you’re reading this manual in a last-ditch effort to lend your overwhelmed college student a helping hand, rest assured they are very much in the majority.

Care and maintenance of an overwhelmed college student can be a tedious affair.

Among other common situations, you may find them:

1. Crying in the shower of the bathroom on one of the co-ed floors, trying desperately not to touch the walls, or the shower head, or the handle, or really anything at all — not if they can help it
2. Strapped to a library table with invisible zip ties, looking for all the world like a mummy 6,000-years-braindead
3. At the mercy of a seemingly never-ending midterms week while simultaneously battling two kinds of pneumonia and seasonal allergies

In this manual, we will address solutions and procedures for all of the above circumstances (and more!). We at ItCouldAlwaysBeWorse LLC hope that this brief introductory guide can assist in the care of your peers, friends, mentors, and probably (read: almost 99% assuredly) yourself.

P.S. Don’t forget to keep your eyes peeled for our second manual, I Scream, You Scream, I Guess We’re All Screaming Now: 25 Types of Cathartic Shouts, to be released on February 30, 2059. Live mediocrely, go to therapy (free if possible), and when in doubt, the correct response is “not in this economy!”